Why do I feel so gross?

about who I am..about liking guys at the same time? I know if I come out its the end for me in San diego, I'll be kicked out, and left to rot. My mother is the most unsupportive woman ever to me, and threatened to kick me out already. And i feel so disgusted by my uality and I have nobody to turn to. Id love to leave but where do I go? I have nobody here for me and possibly noway to make it. Why do I feel so horrible?..I thought I accepted who I am already..